Lifting the Veil on Wearing One

Nuns and courtesans, brides and widows, ladies and prostitutes: all of these women have been veiled.

Unlike many modern brides, I love the traditional veil, especially when worn over the face. It has been my dream to have a traditionally long veil over my face and trailing behind me; fortunately I do have the opportunity to wear a vintage veil for my wedding. Most brides today, if they choose to use a veil, merely attach to their coif as a decorative piece, rather than incorporating the traditional lift of the veil to reveal the bride's face at the beginning of the ceremony.

It's not necessarily that I like any of the symbolic meanings behind the veil: submission and subordination, protection against evil spirits, virginity and purity, the significance of the bride, the bad luck of the groom seeing the bride before the wedding, etc. Honestly, I just like the romantic appeal of the veil: how it shimmers and shines and is not a commonplace accessory these days.

But why do brides wear veils?

The use of veils has been both practical and ceremonial/religious. Veils were initially worn by noble women to set them apart; prostitutes and common women were forbade to use veils. Such coverings could also protect a lady's skin from the sun, wind, or any of the other elements. (At one time, pale skin was prized because it meant you did not have to work in the sun.) Some women also used veils when they did not want to be seen or recognized; in this sense, the veil became a sort of mask. At this point, with the use of mysterious or questionable actions, the veil was adopted by common women (and, yes, I mean that in every sense of the word).

However, veils have also been used to shroud objects of value and significance. In the Judeo-Christian tradition, women are also encouraged to cover their heads, and veils could be used as such. This is best illustrated in other religious practices where altars or tabernacles are hidden. In many ways, the bride, too, has always been treated as an object of value that must be protected; at one time, it was said a woman's long hair was a sign of virginity. Today, in matrimonial practices, the veil could be seen as replacing the bride's long flowing hair. Dating and courtship is a thing of the present; in the past, marriages were arranged by parents, usually as a business arrangement, and so the woman would rarely be seen by her future husband (if at all). This tradition is carried on in many cultures today, the veil symbolizing the bride's purity. (Please see my post on wearing white to further understand the importance of the bride's purity.)

The lifting of the veil symbolizes the groom taking the bride as his (whether object or lover/wife, I'll leave that to your opinion). The veil ultimately hints at the mysterious and the unknown, and so the use and lifting of the veil symbolizes one's undertaking to know. (And, yes, I mean that in every possible sense of the word. ;)

Why Brides Wear White

I had wanted to talk about this relevant issue yesterday, but my entry on shopping ended up being much longer than I had expected. Thank God for all our tomorrows.

So...I ended up with a somewhat-fluffy whitish dress. So sue me, ok? It was not what I wanted when I started planning, but I love it! (And it was a great deal and under my budget.) It's an ivory dress with a sweetheart neckline and capped sleeves: incredibly elegant and timeless.

But actually going dress shopping did raise a few questions (and eyebrows). Why do brides wear white?

In our culture, it is traditional for the bride to wear a dress of some shade of white, whether snow white, ivory, or cream. We have come to associate the color white with the bride's purity (i.e. her virginity). But there has always been much emphasis placed on the bride's virginity...er, purity...in the long tradition of matrimony. A long, long, long time, ago marriages were not matters of the heart, but of business, and let's just say businessmen don't like to buy "damaged" or "spoiled" goods. So in the past (or in old movies...or movies set in older times), so-called "loose" women and those not entering into their first marriages were/are scoffed at for wearing this now-traditional bridal color.

But white was not always the choice for ladies walking down the aisle. While white has long been associated with joy and celebration, it has never been a practical color. For ages, brides have been marrying in whatever clothes were special to them in every shade imaginable...but less likely in white. White is obviously easily sullied, and so only the rich could afford to wear and care for the color. A white garment has always been more difficult to launder (which is why I rarely wear it), and so it would not be suitable for daily wear. Only the wealthy could afford to wear white.

Trendsetter Queen Victoria popularized the white dress when she married Prince Albert in 1840. Up until that time, brides wore what they had. In other cultures, you will find dresses in colors traditional to that culture. There is no shame in choosing to wear a dress that is not white or off-white. Brides today are becoming increasingly comfortable in choosing to express their personalities or simply what color in which they look best. If I had found an affordable blue dress, or chose to wear my favorite color black, or picked red because my mother always says I look good in red, I would have proudly worn such a dress, even if every person called me Jezebel Pharr after we said, "I do."