I'm sorry...

Yesterday I had a very humbling experience when I inadvertently offended one of my best friends. We were discussing some of the plans for the wedding, and I wanted to clarify some of things Zach and I want (such as a reception separate from the wedding). This is rather difficult to do in texts with a 160-character limit, so I finally referred her to my blog. The answers to some of her questions were not necessarily posted (yet); I thought that perhaps the handful of entries I have posted thus far would illustrate the type of wedding we want: simple, intimate, non-traditional.

I regret my comments towards "the $25,000, princess in fluffy white, awkward unity candle, Baptist-punch wedding[s] and reception[s]." I want to apologize if I have offended anyone or hurt their feelings because of some of the things I have said in my past entries, especially this comment.

There is no excuse for the harsh words I have used. The purpose of this blog should not be to attack other brides and grooms and the traditions they choose to employ in any way--or to attack anyone who wants to share in this time with us. If I do such a thing, I am being a hypocrite. I tend to take a very snarky tone these days when it comes to weddings because, no matter how much you try to pare down a wedding, it is still stressful. Zach and I don't want to let down any of our family and friends as we try to maintain the integrity of the wedding we have in mind.

It is incredibly frustrating, this wedding-planning business. I know I am not the first bride to feel this way, but it is still no excuse. Geez, Louise, it's no wonder so many brides become depressed before and after their weddings, or that stress tears couples and families apart. We are just two weeks in, and it already seems that everyday is spent defending another choice we are making. Thus this blog has had a very sarcastic and defensive tone at times because I have used it as an outlet to vent my frustrations, rather than looking at things objectively. I feel like all of my time is spent explaining and justifying and defending our decisions because we have so little time to plan everything...and I want everyone to be involved...and everyone wants to be involved...so all of the stress and drama is at warp-speed. (I wonder if you can be a bride and not sound like a bitch?)

But I have no excuse for the tone I may take. Even now I feel the need to justify and defend because that is in my nature, but what I need to do is stop. All I can do is apologize and try to do better. Simply put, I am sorry. I am truly sorry.

The purpose of this blog is to document our very short engagement, our wedding plans, and the exploration of wedding traditions as our plans progress. Many of my posts will be about various traditions that we may or may not use for our wedding as these issues arise in our planning. I will faithfully do my research on these things, looking at their origins and their evolutions--how they made their way into modern weddings. I hope I do not offend anyone but offering my opinions along with what I find as long as I take a more objective tone.

(And, yes, I asked Zach to write some entries, too, but he so often says I am the better writer, I don't know if my pleas will come to fruition.)

Every wedding I have been to has been beautiful and unique in its own right. No two weddings are ever the same, even if they are carried out in the same places with the same traditions (and probably even with the same people--haha!). I have been honored to serve in a number of weddings, but even more so, I have treasured thinking about the years to come when a bride and groom I know and love will sit and think back on their life lived together at one year, five years, 10 years, 50.

And that is what I want: the beginning of a life together, not one hour or a day. I know the theme I choose or the flowers I carry or the flavor of the cake will not really matter. That is not to say I don't want an elegant wedding because I do, but I am trying to remember that, on the day(s) after our wedding (and reception), we will return to normalcy, which is perfect already. (Thank you, Zach, for reminding me of that.) We wouldn't have gotten to where we are now had we not decided to spend each day beside one another--eating, working, breathing, and all the mundane activities we do each day to survive.

There is always such joy at wedding celebrations, but I like to imagine the joy of a couple's golden anniversary when they are surrounded by children, grandchildren, and friends, looking back on the ordinary days they have lived together--and know that what matters at the end of the day is the love we all share which makes our lives worth living.

Thank you for reminding me to remember that.

the cutest and the sweetest ball of cat fur I could ever love, Hobie
I only wish I had known him as a baby "ritty rat!"