FYI: There will be no bouquet or garter toss in our wedding.
For one, I think it's silly that, if you decide to do a bouquet toss, you make two bouquets, one for keeping and one for tossing. It's not that I don't understand why; I plan on keeping my bouquet forever, and, so, if I planned to throw my flowers over my head at my friends' heads...er, hands, I would have been forced to find an alternative bunch. But I think there is a note of falsity in using another bouquet. The catching of the bridal bouquet is supposed to impart a sort of luck--that the catcher will be the next married (because isn't that what every woman wants? ;). But, if it isn't the actual bouquet, doesn't this undermine this tradition?
(This same idea could be applied to the wearing of two garters, one for tossing and one for keeping.)
Secondly, I don't want to make any of my friends feel uncomfortable by being singled out (been there, done that) or breed competitive natures among good friends (been there, done that). There is nothing wrong with being single (or being coupled, for that matter)--but why point either out? I've been single my whole life and have been quite happy in that state. When I met Zach, I was embracing the single life ahead of me (as he was doing when he met me). My cousin used a breakaway bouquet that had fortunes attached to the flowers, and not all of them were wedding-related; mine said I would travel and have many adventures. :) I really like that idea. And I will admit that I like participating in the bouquet toss at past weddings because I am a little competitive, and I just wanted to catch it, but I always felt awkward being summoned to the floor. It is worse when there are only three of you out there. (Been there, done that AND caught the bouquet). (Sidenote: My date caught the garter, but only after the boys let it drop and they redid the throw.)
3) Women don't really wear garters anymore, and everyone knows it. It seems kind of silly to wear one more impractical thing because it's traditional (the dress, tux, veil, etc. being others.)
Also, the garter toss is slightly tacky. The groom reaches up the bride's dress and retrieves an article of clothing that is typically associated with the sexual and seductive to throw to his friends. Hmmm...I wonder what that is supposed to imply?
Besides, does anyone know from where these traditions come? I briefly alluded to this a moment ago, but the garter is very much tied into the bride's virginity. (Imagine that!) By removing the garter, the groom illustrated his bride's submission to him in marriage. Family and friends went so far as to accompany the couple to their marriage bed to insure that consummation occurred; as such, the same sort of luck that the bridal gown could impart (more on that in a minute) was also attributed to the garter. This is to say that the man who captured the bride's garter would share in the groom's luck (er, getting luck?) and it became the best man'sjob to retrieve the garter, tear it into bits, and share with all the men. Some male guests would go wild, attacking the bride and injuring guests in the process to get at the garters. Over time, brides and grooms began throwing the garter themselves to stave off unwelcome advances.
In the later Middle Ages, the idea also developed that the bride's clothing and accessories (such as her bouquet) could impart good fortune to whomever had a piece of it. So the bride's dress, headpieces, flowers, whatever she had on would be torn to pieces as the wedding audience attempted to access that sought-after wedding luck. As with the garter, it seems that brides began throwing their bouquets in an attempt to ward off the crowd.
Poor medieval brides...we thought we had it bad.
That's not to say that these traditions cannot be fun or funny with the right crowd in the right place at the right time. But we really don't have time or room for any of that nonsense anyway. There's plenty of other things to do. ;)
For one, I think it's silly that, if you decide to do a bouquet toss, you make two bouquets, one for keeping and one for tossing. It's not that I don't understand why; I plan on keeping my bouquet forever, and, so, if I planned to throw my flowers over my head at my friends' heads...er, hands, I would have been forced to find an alternative bunch. But I think there is a note of falsity in using another bouquet. The catching of the bridal bouquet is supposed to impart a sort of luck--that the catcher will be the next married (because isn't that what every woman wants? ;). But, if it isn't the actual bouquet, doesn't this undermine this tradition?
(This same idea could be applied to the wearing of two garters, one for tossing and one for keeping.)
Secondly, I don't want to make any of my friends feel uncomfortable by being singled out (been there, done that) or breed competitive natures among good friends (been there, done that). There is nothing wrong with being single (or being coupled, for that matter)--but why point either out? I've been single my whole life and have been quite happy in that state. When I met Zach, I was embracing the single life ahead of me (as he was doing when he met me). My cousin used a breakaway bouquet that had fortunes attached to the flowers, and not all of them were wedding-related; mine said I would travel and have many adventures. :) I really like that idea. And I will admit that I like participating in the bouquet toss at past weddings because I am a little competitive, and I just wanted to catch it, but I always felt awkward being summoned to the floor. It is worse when there are only three of you out there. (Been there, done that AND caught the bouquet). (Sidenote: My date caught the garter, but only after the boys let it drop and they redid the throw.)
3) Women don't really wear garters anymore, and everyone knows it. It seems kind of silly to wear one more impractical thing because it's traditional (the dress, tux, veil, etc. being others.)
Also, the garter toss is slightly tacky. The groom reaches up the bride's dress and retrieves an article of clothing that is typically associated with the sexual and seductive to throw to his friends. Hmmm...I wonder what that is supposed to imply?
Besides, does anyone know from where these traditions come? I briefly alluded to this a moment ago, but the garter is very much tied into the bride's virginity. (Imagine that!) By removing the garter, the groom illustrated his bride's submission to him in marriage. Family and friends went so far as to accompany the couple to their marriage bed to insure that consummation occurred; as such, the same sort of luck that the bridal gown could impart (more on that in a minute) was also attributed to the garter. This is to say that the man who captured the bride's garter would share in the groom's luck (er, getting luck?) and it became the best man'sjob to retrieve the garter, tear it into bits, and share with all the men. Some male guests would go wild, attacking the bride and injuring guests in the process to get at the garters. Over time, brides and grooms began throwing the garter themselves to stave off unwelcome advances.
In the later Middle Ages, the idea also developed that the bride's clothing and accessories (such as her bouquet) could impart good fortune to whomever had a piece of it. So the bride's dress, headpieces, flowers, whatever she had on would be torn to pieces as the wedding audience attempted to access that sought-after wedding luck. As with the garter, it seems that brides began throwing their bouquets in an attempt to ward off the crowd.
Poor medieval brides...we thought we had it bad.
That's not to say that these traditions cannot be fun or funny with the right crowd in the right place at the right time. But we really don't have time or room for any of that nonsense anyway. There's plenty of other things to do. ;)
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